


fever dreams

by Forestgreengirl



Series: the wolves remember [1]
Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Drinking, Hamish Duke Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Magic, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Pack Dynamics, Polyamorous Pack, Protective Hamish Duke, Romance, Werewolves, it’s not graphic, the order is fucked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25609612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl
Summary: Hamish dreams of sharp teeth, and high-pitched ringing, he dreams of boxes in dark rooms, and running faster than he ever has when he’s awake. He dreams of dark hair, and playing beer pong too with people he can’t even see. In one moment he’s drinking a cocktail, and the next he’s sinking his teeth into something and-or(You can erase memories, but some things just can’t be forgotten)
Relationships: Hamish Duke & Jack Morton, Lilith Bathory & Hamish Duke, Lilith Bathory & Randall Carpio & Hamish Duke & Jack Morton, Lilith Bathory/Randall Carpio/Hamish Duke/Jack Morton, Randall Carpio & Hamish Duke
Series: the wolves remember [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856254
Comments: 4
Kudos: 107





	fever dreams

**Author's Note:**

> this hasn’t been beta read, any mistakes are my own <3

_ Hamish dreams of sharp teeth, and high-pitched ringing, he dreams of boxes in dark rooms, and running faster than he ever has when he’s awake. He dreams of dark hair, and playing beer pong too with people he can’t even see. In one moment he’s drinking a cocktail, and the next he’s sinking his teeth into something and-  _

_ He can remember everything and nothing all at once, and he stretches out, everything sitting on the edge of his vision-  _

-The horrible ringing of his alarm cuts through his dream, startling him to consciousness. There’s a disgusting taste of metallic blood in his mouth, making him gag slightly as his head  _ spins;  _ the taste is both familiar and strange and it makes his head  _ hurt.  _

Hamish groans tiredly, stretching slightly before pulling himself out of the warmness of his bed. No matter how much he wanted to just  _ not  _ leave his room, as he usually didn’t want to after those sorts of dreams, he still had a class to teach. 

  
  


______

  
  
  


Class is somehow not at all better than being at home, he doesn’t even know  _ why:  _ only that everything is so much more  _ in his face,  _ than it usually was; enough that it makes his already sore head worse. 

And then he catches sight of three students sneaking into his class, not at all subtle like they probably think they’re being. The fact that one of them is wearing bright pink sunglasses, and the other two are not-so-quietly arguing, giving them away immediately.

Hamish squints at them, something sitting on the edge of his consciousness, he  _ knows  _ these students, knows them like he knows that sometimes his reflection doesn’t look right, like he knows that there’s so much time he’s  _ missing;  _ he just isn’t sure  _ how _ . And then he makes eye-contact with the curly haired one and-

_ -and for a second he’s not standing uncomfortably in front of a class, for a moment he’s standing in the woods, blood dripping from his mouth, and a shovel in one hand and-  _

-he coughs quietly to centre himself, tearing his eyes away from the other man's wide-eyed ones. The headache must just be affecting him more than he had thought. He’s never met those students before in his life, they’re probably just those people you meet, that you feel like you know from somewhere. 

He’s had a fair few of those lately. 

He focuses himself on teaching this class, and trying not to make a fool of himself  _ (He loves teaching, he does, but he hates talking to people) _ ; he’s very painfully trying to keep his eyes away from those three students, ignoring the way something inside of him  _ twists  _ at the sight of them. 

  
  


_______

  
  
  


He ends up seeing a lot more of those students, even outside of class ( _ a class he knows for a long fact they aren’t part of)  _

He still can’t exclaim the swoopy sensation in his chest everytime he catches sight of them; he does honestly feel like he’s going slightly  _ mad,  _ and that only increases the more these flashes come, feeling like memories he doesn’t even  _ have.  _

However, the students really should make sure that they’re being  _ subtle  _ if they’re going to follow someone; Hamish can feel them behind him from  _ miles away, _

_ (He doesn’t question how he knows that, just chalks it up to being paranoid; he’s always been paranoid)  _

He’s walking across campus when he can feel them creep up behind him. 

Hamish quickly turns around, making direct eye-contact with the three people in front of them, and is just a  _ bit  _ amused at the dazed panic in their eyes, 

“You know, if you’re going to follow someone, you really  _ should not  _ get caught _ by  _ the person you’re following” Hamish starts, a playful tilt to his voice, he’s only a  _ bit  _ creeped out, it’s mostly just amusing.

The blonde one starts almost stuttering, trying to explain themselves, “We weren’t following you! We were just uh, trying to talk to y-“

“Yeah we kinda were, sorry about that, but we do actually want to talk to you. Drinks?” The curly-haired one cuts in cheerily, while the women yawns, obviously bored with the conversation-

_ -and for a moment, it’s not teeth he’s seeing but fangs, and how the light glints off of them, red dripping into- _

-before she turns to snap something at the blonde-haired one. 

Hamish doesn’t even really consider it, the yes falling out of his mouth quicker than he can comprehend, something inside of him  _ pushing  _ to say yes. 

“Sure. What do I have to lose anyway. 

And well, he can’t quite deny the way that something inside him  _ settled  _ at the relieved looks on the others faces. 

  
  


________

  
  


They end up in some bar, surrounded by  _ other,  _ less civilised college kids, drinking some cheap cocktail.

“So,” Hamish starts, placing his glass down with a  _ clink,  _ before continuing, “do any of you want to explain why you were following me?”

The blonde one, Jack, immediately begins spluttering, “we weren’t-  _ I  _ wasn’t- we were  _ not following you.” _

The bored looking woman, Lilith  _ (“Make a demon joke and I’ll gut you like a trout)  _ as she’s introduced herself, just leans back, “Want to explain why you’re the person who agreed to get  _ drinks  _ with the people stalking you. So who’s the real weirdo?” 

She does have a point, honestly. He, himself still isn’t sure what he was  _ thinking,  _ when he agreed to get drinks. 

“I never pass up a free drink, I’m not an  _ idiot.” _

“ _ Ugh,  _ you understand it so much better than these losers” Lilith groans, as Hamish clinks his glass against hers with a grin. 

“On  _ another  _ note; why are all three of you sitting in my classes now? None of you are officially enrolled; and I don’t think people usually willingly take  _ extra  _ classes.”

“I didn’t have anything better to do-“

“Randall made me-“

“I did not! And also your voice is really  _ nice-“  _ the last word fades into a high-pitched noise, as Randall’s face flushes a spectacular shade of red, Jack's face flushing a similar colour in sympathy. 

“Really now?” Hamish responds, raising one eyebrow while looking at Randall, who just hurriedly takes a sip of his drink, and Jack, who just turns to shoot a look at Lilith.

“Don’t let it get to your head. There’s just something familiar about you.”

“Maybe I’m just one of those faces, you know?” He really wants that to be the case, the idea of  _ not  _ remembering something, low-key makes him want to be sick. 

“Maybe. Or maybe I just have...one of those faces?” It's a weak excuse, even to his own ears, and by the looks that all three of his company shoot him, they aren’t buying it either. 

But thankfully he doesn't have to finish that conversation right now, because Randall is leaning obnoxiously against Jack, and loudly proclaiming, 

“Let's finish this later! Right now we are here to get  _ drunk!”  _

Something slots into place, the pain in his head beginning to recede, it's relieving. 

( _ He refuses to believe this has anything to do with the people he’s with.)  _

________

  
  


_ That night he dreams of hands that aren’t his own, and how it feels to feel bone snap under his grip. He dreams of slit palms, and whispered words of a language he can’t remember ever having learnt.  _

_ He dreams of running through empty forests, laughing around teeth sharper than his own. He dreams of sleeping pressed against warm bodies, and smiling until his cheeks hurt. He dreams of feeling his bones shift below his skin, forming into something new, new and old and everything in between-  _

  
  


_ ______ _

  
  


Hamish finds himself slotting back into these people’s lives, finds himself even becoming  _ friends  _ with them; and he can’t deny that it feels  _ good. _

His head stops aching at every moment, and he actually starts being able to move suddenly without a whirlwind of pain running through him. 

And he won’t deny that he’s in good company; even if Randall comes up with fifty different  _ terrible  _ nicknames in a  _ day,  _ and Jack tends to lose himself in his head, in a wind of good-bad scenarios ( _ Hamish almost cried when he was told, he couldn’t quite believe that they trusted himself enough to tell him) _ , and Lilith's angry eyes, and angrier words that hurt like teeth-in-skin.

“Why can’t we just go to our  _ regular bar,  _ why do we need to go to the one  _ across campus?”  _ Hamish drawls out, directing his words to Randall, who’s been trying to get them to visit this  _ unfamiliar _ bar, ( _ and Hamish has never liked the unfamiliar, much preferring to stick to what he knows.) _

“Sometimes change is good! And they might have different drinks!” Hamish already knows that they are absolutely going to go to that bar; all of them were incapable of saying no to Randall. 

“I still think it’s a shitty idea.” 

Hamish watches with apprehension as Randall stops suddenly, a thoughtful look entering his eyes.

That’s never a good thing. 

“We could… play beer pong? Winner gets to decide?” Randall’s voice is amused when he says it, filled with glee at the idea- 

_ -“Beer pong? Winner gets to decide if Jack lives or dies.”  _

_ “Good idea.”  _

-and honestly, if they’re going to play beer-pong, there’s no point in even  _ going to a bar,  _ they will already be more than drunk. 

But the idea sounds fun as  _ fuck,  _ and well, Hamish never passed the chance to drink. 

  
  


______

  
  


“You know, I feel like we all should have so many  _ other  _ things to be focusing on right now. Or like...doing.” 

Hamish knows for a  _ fact that _ all of them have assignments to be working on,  _ especially  _ Randall, who’s pre-med and while Hamish knows he loves his major; Randall bitches about it at  _ every  _ opportunity. 

“Yeah but why would we?” Lilith starts at the same time Randall cuts in,

“We wouldn’t be getting the  _ real  _ college experience if we aren’t cutting it close to deadlines.” 

And well, Hamish can’t judge them. He remembers what 

he was like in his first year of college. 

“Exactly. We’d of course, much prefer to be sitting in a shitty restaurant and eating terrible, greasy food.” Jack pipes up, with his  _ endless  _ supply of sarcasm. 

  
  


________

  
  


Hamish finds himself slipping into the group easily, almost like he’s known them before. It’s like déjà vu but just 100x more extreme. 

Quicker than he had expected, Hamish finds himself enjoying the silence between him and Jack, whenever the other man gets one of his horrendous headaches, and he finds himself loving the banter, and watching shitty reality tv with Randall, and the day-drinking and competitions with Lilith.

It’s like he found a part of himself with them, something that he didn’t know he had even lost. 

Something in him doesn’t feel so lonely after that, he slowly stops feeling like he’s been guttered, stops walking around like he’s missing something vital. 

They become  _ everything  _ to Hamish. 

Between the drinking, and the games, and the competitions, and the late-night  _ talking,  _ and the way they protect each other, how they kicked some assholes ass when some drunk college kid tries to hurt Lilith, even though they all  _ know  _ she can take care of herself; he can see the thankfulness in her eyes. 

It’s almost not even a surprise to Hamish, when he finds himself falling in love with them. 

  
  


_ ________ _

  
  


Surprisingly, or maybe it isn’t at all surprising, that it’s Randall that makes the first move.

They’re all pretty much  _ wasted,  _ celebrating Randall and Jack  _ both  _ passing their exams, when Randall swings an arm around Hamish, pulling him in to press a gentle kiss to his lips, before realising what he’s done and pulling back, horror in his eyes.

Hamish isn’t ashamed to admit he panicked, he’s _ older  _ than them; it doesn’t feel right. 

He goes to run. Lilith doesn't let him; he’d be more surprised if she did let him.

( _ “Hamish I will personally kick your fucking arse if you walk out that door.”)  _

She forces them to talk about it,  _ all  _ of them to talk about it. 

Hamish is a bit more ashamed to admit that he cries during the conversation.

  
  


_ _______ _

  
  


_ Hamish still finds himself dreaming of things he can’t remember, he still finds himself dreaming of poisoned knives, and cold words.  _

_ He still dreams about the claws that he doesn’t remember having, of the way his bones shape themselves under his skin, of pushing, and pulling, and tearing himself apart over and over again.  _

_ He still dreams of running through open forests with figures he can’t really see, of dark nights and blood,  _

_ Except he knows these people, he does, he knows them like he knows his name, and that he’s a TA and he’s good at it. _

_ Hamish doesn’t just dream. _

_ No. _

_ Hamish remembers.  _

He wakes up screaming.

  
  


_____

  
  


It’s a lot easier to explain it to the others than he thought it would be. He had prepared himself for them to look at him like he was crazy, had prepared himself for the denial, and the laughter.

He didn’t prepare himself for the look of  _ relief  _ that enters their eyes. 

Hamish can’t deny that it’s  _ great  _ to feel Tundra speaking to him again, to hear their voice soothing him; he didn’t realise how much he liked it, until he didn’t have it anymore. 

It’s Randall that breaks the silence, to nobody's surprise, “ _ Well!  _ I’m just glad that it’s _ not  _ just me that’s been dreaming of this shit, I thought I was going mental.” 

“ _ Hah,  _ no it’s not just you, idiot, I just thought it was one of those things.” Glad to see Lilith hasn’t changed, despite having had...their minds wiped-

_ Fuck. _

“I can’t believe the order would do this.” Jack speaks up after a moment, something odd in his voice.

Right, Hamish had almost forgotten that Jack was an  _ actual  _ Order member. He had to be handling this badly.

They turn to look at him, and his grins awkwardly, “Okay, maybe it’s not that unbelievable.” 

“You better not go all ‘Alyssa mad’ again, and fuck everything up.” Lilith asks, as Randall nods along, and Hamish can’t really deny that it’s a worry, now that they remember everything, it’s hard to predict how things will change.

Jack looks faintly ill when he responds, but it’s very quickly drowned out by the growing anger in his eyes, “Alyssa wiped my memories for a  _ promotion;  _ She’s dead to me already.” 

“Well- I’m not going to deny that that is a  _ relief.”  _

“So what are we going to do about this? They can’t just  _ get away  _ with  _ wiping our memories!”  _ Trust Lilith to be thinking of revenge immediately, Hamish can’t say he really blames her.

The Order wiped their memories, tried to take away his  _ pack,  _ Hamish has already lost one pack, he  _ won’t  _ lose another.

( _ Inside his mind, Tundra howls about rightness, and to protect what's his. Hamish can’t help but agree.)  _

He shares a look with the others, deciding without even having to voice it, 

“We’re the Knights of Saint Christopher, we’re supposed to stop bad magic. Let’s burn the Order to the  _ fucking ground.”  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for this fandom! I hope it was okay! I got into The Order the other day and have been Furiously writing this fic since lmao. I have soft spot for the Knights, and especially Hamish-
> 
> come chat/send prompts on tumblr! (@forestgreengirl)


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